Post by stein on Jan 3, 2012 17:08:49 GMT
hi.
am gonna try to write a bit about how i got to where i am now.
right now i am at eindhoven with the kib which stand for 'intensive clinical care' nothing is more treu or less. i have to do everything by myself as preparel for living on my own.
i winded up here due to some incident which i had part in. the bad part. but the goal i have here and why i was allowed to come. is that i must work at my fears and my independence.
if all goes good i will go and return to the normal society. but it's not there yet.
i was born in the netherlands in breda at home. my mother allready had my brother who is roughly 1 year older then me. my father was probably allready not doing to fine. being mentally ill that is. in what way exact i dont know but the situation wasnt all that. and when i was 2 years old i had a stephfather who is still so.
when my biological father moved out or when my mother and him seperated i dont know. i do know that he used to smoke weed att. and he does that still sometimes. i also still have contact with him. and i inherited my mental sickness through him. that's pretty much sure.
i grew up in breda till i was 10 years young. in those ten years we moved twice. so i had two different schools. i remember i used to be in trouble with this one kid. or he with me, young i was. i was a trouble kid. and my mother sure reacted to that by smacking me into a trauma about it. it surely was child abuse.
that stopped when we moved to zundert, a city nearby. the school i went to there was good in the start but later on i got bullied very much. leaving a scar perhaphs.
i realised i was different at that moment. and i would cry in bed "why" "why me" but not in the sense of why do they pick on me. no more or totally in the sense of why am i different why did you choose me...x
i finished primary school there. and went to a mixed direction class at secondary school leaving the highest option gymnasium open and the lower option mavo (average general continued education). i finished that year and went to the direction in between; higher education.
i did nothing for my study end ended up at secondary vocational education, in the direction administration which i finished with excellent grades. without learning.
( i keep it short now)
i moved out of house to a familyreplacement house for one year. when i went back to my parents i had rather not. at that time i got to lear about christianity when i went to a community with my grandma where i visited for the weekends.
after administration i did half a year a study ict and went working with my stephfather. then i went to the military for half a year. then i started constructing maga tents. for partys and such.
that's wher i went wrong sort a say. i started diging in the bible and smoke weed and perty a lot.
when i got extremely psychotic. i would persucate god for what happened to jesus. and shine a light upon the truth.
both have been answerred. through experiences god gave me.
my spiritual name xounstaer is directed from the english and dutch language for the words sun, son, star, stare. in dutch it mixed.
the past 8 years i have spent inside the psychitry. most of the time i was free to stand where i wanted. i smoked a lot of weed and have quited twice and now for the third time i have quitted for 2 months almost.
i witnessed a lot of spiritual experiences. and through my psychose i also became a believer. not that i didnt believe before. but not in god or jesus. but since my psychose 8 years ago. i know' god exists and believe in jesus as messiah a lot. and they live through me again.
i am bein ggiven the oppurtunity now here att hte kib in eindhoven to make somthin gof it and i wll sure do my best. with gods leading hand and the faith in jesus.
thank for reading.
greets,
stein/xs
am gonna try to write a bit about how i got to where i am now.
right now i am at eindhoven with the kib which stand for 'intensive clinical care' nothing is more treu or less. i have to do everything by myself as preparel for living on my own.
i winded up here due to some incident which i had part in. the bad part. but the goal i have here and why i was allowed to come. is that i must work at my fears and my independence.
if all goes good i will go and return to the normal society. but it's not there yet.
i was born in the netherlands in breda at home. my mother allready had my brother who is roughly 1 year older then me. my father was probably allready not doing to fine. being mentally ill that is. in what way exact i dont know but the situation wasnt all that. and when i was 2 years old i had a stephfather who is still so.
when my biological father moved out or when my mother and him seperated i dont know. i do know that he used to smoke weed att. and he does that still sometimes. i also still have contact with him. and i inherited my mental sickness through him. that's pretty much sure.
i grew up in breda till i was 10 years young. in those ten years we moved twice. so i had two different schools. i remember i used to be in trouble with this one kid. or he with me, young i was. i was a trouble kid. and my mother sure reacted to that by smacking me into a trauma about it. it surely was child abuse.
that stopped when we moved to zundert, a city nearby. the school i went to there was good in the start but later on i got bullied very much. leaving a scar perhaphs.
i realised i was different at that moment. and i would cry in bed "why" "why me" but not in the sense of why do they pick on me. no more or totally in the sense of why am i different why did you choose me...x
i finished primary school there. and went to a mixed direction class at secondary school leaving the highest option gymnasium open and the lower option mavo (average general continued education). i finished that year and went to the direction in between; higher education.
i did nothing for my study end ended up at secondary vocational education, in the direction administration which i finished with excellent grades. without learning.
( i keep it short now)
i moved out of house to a familyreplacement house for one year. when i went back to my parents i had rather not. at that time i got to lear about christianity when i went to a community with my grandma where i visited for the weekends.
after administration i did half a year a study ict and went working with my stephfather. then i went to the military for half a year. then i started constructing maga tents. for partys and such.
that's wher i went wrong sort a say. i started diging in the bible and smoke weed and perty a lot.
when i got extremely psychotic. i would persucate god for what happened to jesus. and shine a light upon the truth.
both have been answerred. through experiences god gave me.
my spiritual name xounstaer is directed from the english and dutch language for the words sun, son, star, stare. in dutch it mixed.
the past 8 years i have spent inside the psychitry. most of the time i was free to stand where i wanted. i smoked a lot of weed and have quited twice and now for the third time i have quitted for 2 months almost.
i witnessed a lot of spiritual experiences. and through my psychose i also became a believer. not that i didnt believe before. but not in god or jesus. but since my psychose 8 years ago. i know' god exists and believe in jesus as messiah a lot. and they live through me again.
i am bein ggiven the oppurtunity now here att hte kib in eindhoven to make somthin gof it and i wll sure do my best. with gods leading hand and the faith in jesus.
thank for reading.
greets,
stein/xs
